Why the tutor-pupil relationship is an essential component of tuition success.
As a psychology graduate and private tutor with experience of supporting children with attachment disorder[1], I am all too aware of the importance of attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969) and how a positive relationship between children and significant adults is crucial for children’s development and wellbeing.
Many tutors have probably heard of attachment theory or instinctively deliver a tutoring service based on its ideas. However, as tutors, we may underestimate the importance of this theory in relation to education and how we can use our understanding of it to create the best learning environment for our pupils.
Attachment theory, founded by the British psychologist John Bowlby, emphasises the influence of early relationships - or “attachments” - with primary caregivers (such as the mother[2]) on development, behaviour and other relationships throughout the lifespan (Bowlby, 1969). These attachments are defined as deep, lasting bonds that connect one human to another (Bowlby, 1969, Ainsworth, 1978). According to Bowlby (1969), if a child is exposed to consistent and responsive care-giving then they come to expect this support when needed and experience the social world as a safe place. Ainsworth (1978) defined this way of relating to others as a “secure attachment style” which, in turn, has been shown to lead to a whole range of positive outcomes among young people including better mental health, more prosocial behaviour and higher achievement at school (Bergin and Bergin, 2009; Oldfield et al., 2016).
It all seems fairly straightforward: strong relationship bonds lead to better well-being, which leads to greater success at school. However, it is interesting how much this seemingly basic idea can become lost among academic targets, exam stress and a - sometimes misdirected - focus on pupil behaviour. Furthermore, building a strong relationship takes time, energy and self-awareness. There is no fast track for forming a strong relationship; every person has different needs and every relationship is different. Nevertheless, we need to attach more importance to attachment if we want to help young people flourish.
Although attachment starts with a primary caregiver - usually a parent - from birth (Bowlby, 1969), teachers or tutors, who spend a considerable amount of time with young people in their formative years, can also be viewed from an attachment perspective (Verschueren and Koomen, 2012). Indeed, evidence has shown that there may be some similarities in attachment behaviour between the parent-child relationship and the teacher-pupil relationship (Koomen and Hoeksma, 2003; Ahnert et al., 2006). In adults, attachment behaviour includes responding to a child’s signals and needs (Bergin and Bergin, 2009). With this in mind, one starts to understand how teachers can be viewed from an attachment perspective in terms of how they might interact with the children they teach.
Furthermore, not only do secure parent-child attachments lead to better learning outcomes, but so can teacher-pupil relationships (Bergin and Bergin, 2009). The research supports this: if a pupil has a good relationship with their teacher, this positively affects their learning, as well as their behaviour in lessons (Learner and Kruger, 1997; Pianta et al., 2008). For example, one study showed that pupils whose teachers were sensitive and warm towards them demonstrated greater improvement in reading and maths ability (Pianta et al., 2008). Therefore, understanding attachment in the context of the education environment is crucial in helping tutors and teachers to be more effective (Bergin and Bergin, 2009).
As a tutor, I have witnessed first-hand how important the tutoring relationship is in terms of creating a foundation for learning success. Pupils who have previously appeared disengaged and low in confidence have become enthusiastic, curious and motivated learners after time in a nurturing one-to-one setting. However, just like anyone else, I am not immune to the deafening noise in our society around test results or “ideal pupil behaviour” which can often distract us from this more fundamental aspect of learning: the teacher-pupil relationship.
When I first started out as a tutor, I expected pupils to listen to me because I was an adult giving them one-to-one attention; knowledgeable about the subject I was teaching them; and teaching it in a way that was tailored to their learning needs or interests. I may have attributed any resistance to learning to other factors such as a deeply-ingrained disinterest in the subject, low self-esteem or a behaviour issue. Although these factors may play a part, I have come to realise how important it is to build a relationship based on empathy, respect and trust first. It is only once this relationship has been established that learning can become enjoyable and effective, particularly for disengaged pupils.
For this reason, the development of my understanding around attachment theory, and my awareness of it in relation to my tutees, is an important part of my job. I strongly believe that, as tutors, our self-reflection in terms of how we relate to our tutees and what is or isn’t working in the relationship is just as important as the time spent preparing resources, teaching methods, lesson plans and academic targets. Without a positive relationship, the other elements become a constant struggle and are often met with resistance. On the other hand, if a warm, trusting and respectful relationship has been established, children often feel safe and motivated to engage in their learning, enabling them to fulfil their academic potential and thrive as human beings. In the words of Dr Gordon Neufield and Gabor Maté (2019, p.173): “Children learn best when they like their teacher and they think their teacher likes them. The way to children’s minds has always been through their hearts.”
[1] Attachment disorder is the result of severe neglect and abuse in early childhood or a disruption in the connection between the child and their main caregiver in early life (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Children with this disorder present with severe difficulties in managing their emotions and behaviour, while also struggling to form and maintain relationships with others (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
[2] Although mothers are not always the primary caregivers in modern society, much of the research surrounding attachment theory is focused on the maternal attachment (Stein et al., 2009).
References
Ahnert, L., Pinquart, M. and Lamb, M.E. (2006). ‘Security of children’s relationships with nonparental care providers: A meta-analysis.’ Child Development, 77(3) pp. 664–679.
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of attachment: a psychological study of the strange situation. Oxford: Lawrence Erlbaum.
American Psychiatric Association. (2013) Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-5. 5th ed., Arlington, Va.: American Psychiatric Association.
Bergin, C. and Bergin, D. (2009) 'Attachment in the Classroom.' Educational Psychology Review, 21(2) pp. 141-170.
Bowlby, J. (1969) Attachment and loss: Vol. 1 Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Koomen, H.M.Y. and Hoeksma, J.B. (2003) ‘Regulation of emotional security by children afterentry to special and regular kindergarten classes.’ Psychological Reports, 93(3) pp.1319-1334.
Learner, D. and Kruger, L. (1997) ‘Attachment, self-concept, and academic motivation in high-school students.’ The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 67(3) pp. 485 – 492.
Neufield, G. and Maté, G. (2019) Hold on to your kids: why parents need to matter more than peers. 2nd ed., London: Vermilion.
Oldfield, J., Humphrey, N. and Hebron, J. (2016) ‘The role of parental and peer attachment relationships and school connectedness in predicting adolescent mental health outcomes.’ Child and Adolescent Mental Health, 21 (1). pp. 21-29.
Pianta, R. C., Belsky, J., Vandergrift, N., Houts, R. M. and Morrison, F. J. (2008). ‘Classroom effects on children’s achievement trajectories in elementary school.’ American Educational Research Journal, 45(2) pp. 365-397.
Stein, J. A., Milburn, N. G., Zane, J. I. and Rotheram-Borus, M. J. (2009) 'Paternal and Maternal Influences on Problem Behaviors Among Homeless and Runaway Youth.' American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 79(1) pp. 39-50.
Verschueren, K. and Koomen, H. M. Y. (2012) ‘Teacher–child relationships from an attachment perspective.’Attachment and Human Development, 14(3), pp. 205-211.